Page 61 - Harnett Life Summer 2018

erything in my power to dissuade them, using the usual A smiling person drops by to give us any medications we
arguments that I was fine, that I knew more than they did, need, chats a bit. Another smiling person drops by, checks
how dare they…etc. Fortunately for me, they did indeed on us, sees if we need any help, or render help as needed.
know better and bravely made the decision. Then we choose our activity. It isn’t all finger-painting and
macaroni pictures either. I have been very blessed to find
Oh, I despised it at first! I absolutely refused to cooper- out I have talent in painting through an art teacher who was
ate short of physical resistance. When I was moved in, I brought in to teach. I have had an enormously entertaining
refused to make any attempts on my own to acclimate or time and have even sold some of my art. This would not
settle in. I refused all attempts at counselling, friendship. have happened if I hadn’t come here. Being in this “world”
In my mind, I was going to resist everything. I even ran has greatly enriched my life.
away six times! I told the people at the facility that I was
running away, each time, and each time they gently brought But we haven’t even touched on the greatest blessings I
me back. I acted out pretty badly. I put my children through personally have received. I have found that having the
a lot of difficulty that I, in hindsight, shouldn’t have. I was stress in my life reduced has allowed me to have a richer,
just so certain I would be miserable until I died. even deeper experience with my children. They don’t have
the worry about me to cloud their visits, and I don’t have
I was wrong. the stress of resisting their efforts at caretaking to cloud
mine. I believed I was very close to my children before,
Living in this facility has been an absolute revelation. I yet there were deeper more meaningful relationships that I
have had to revise my thinking on many levels. I have been wouldn’t have experienced, had I not lived here. This is the
so very blessed by living here. I want to share my experi- first of the greatest blessings.
ences with both those who are thinking of placing a loved
one, those who are being placed in a facility and those that Secondly, I have made friends here that I would never have
are considering it as a choice for themselves (it happens) , met before. True, engaging, fun friends that I can’t imag-
what I have learned, what I have received as blessings and ine having missed out on. My friends have expanded my
what I would like to leave behind as a testimony. knowledge of the world, expanded my vision of myself
through their honest speech, and given me new viewpoints,
An Assisted Living Facility is a place where you can live. I couldn’t have achieved a more diverse circle of friends
Not a place where you are left behind to die. There is more had I circled the globe and picked at will. My outlook on
living going on behind these walls than death. Death is but many things has changed as well.
a moment of transition. All that leads up to that is life. An
ALF can be home. It can even be a good home. I have Third, I have expanded my life experience. I thought I had
heard it described as similar to a co-ed college dorm. There pretty much done it all. That growth was a thing that was
are activities, kind people, fun, learning experiences, and behind me. Now I understand that it is always possible, and
many other things that make it a rich, life altering experi- sometimes the growth is so unexpected and is a wonderful
ence. I’m not going to deny that there is sickness, sadness, revelation of talents!
anger and every other thing human beings are prone to as
well. That’s exactly why it is a place to live. But most of all, I think my time here has allowed me to
deepen my faith, my personal experience with Jesus Christ
A lot of us refer to our former lives as being “in the world”. and God. My faith has always been my anchor. I never
This is an accurate statement. It does not mean that we are asked myself did I believe, I just did. But my time has been
secluded from the world, or denied it. This phrase means freed to allow the deeper meditation and reflection that
that we live in an insular manner. To whatever degree we is absolutely necessary, and in our fast paced world, ever
decide, we are able to treat with the world on our terms, harder to make a place to accomplish. My relationship with
each in our own, most comfortable degree. Yes, there are God has blossomed and I feel confident that whenever He
folks here who just no longer have the ability to negotiate tells me to fold my tent and move to Heaven, I will be as
the twists and turns of what day to day life means. To some, ready as I can to do so.
there never was the ability to do so, but they are allowed
and encouraged to function as highly as possible. The rest, I would like to say, that not all Assisted Living is created
well, we pick our deals. We no longer have to concern our- equal. There are different levels of care and different levels
selves with the minutiae of living. Bills, payments, laundry, of caring. There are facilities that should never be allowed
groceries, ugh. We get up in the morning, breakfast is there. to take care of anyone. There are people who shouldn’t be

Harnett Life ~ Summer 2018 Page 61